The Blueline Orchestra

Place : Crowded Blueline bus going to Noida

Time : 8.30 pm (roughly )

Narrator is standing, leaning onto a huge pile of god-knows-what commonly seen in bluelines. With no music to listen to, and the atmosphere being somewhat hostile to reading, he proceeds to pay attention to the Blueline orchestra, the great show one sees in Blueline all too often.  Main Performers for tonight are :

Person 1 : In blue, fitting blazer and tie, seems like an executive, doesnt seem to gel well with the surroundings, but we'll come to that later.

Person 2 : Formal dress, tense brows, large handkerchief that keeps wiping the sweat off; indicative of a person in middle-to-lower management of some organisation.

Person 3: Drunken stupor, dress inconsequential, seems to be in need of a place to sleep.

Person 4 : The glorious conductor of this 355 Blueline orchestra.

Person 1 (P1) 's phone rings to the tune of an old melancholic 70's Hindi song , thus starting off tonight's concert,. He lets it play, so that everyone around can appreciate his taste. Finally, he picks the phone up; and the image of the suave executive comes crashing down.

P1: [in unmistakeable Bihari pidgin English ] Hello Rahul.... haww arr you ? .....Avrything fine ? .... haww many deals did you make today?..... oh, kungratz.... you must give party now, hun..... I will ta-ak latter ok ?.... bye.

P3 has started an argument with P4, the conductor. inducing the element of drama to the performance.

P3 : Haath kaise lagaaya bhosdi ke ?  [ How dare you touch me, %^&$$ &*%]

P4 : agge kyun nahi hota ? [ why dont you move ahead ? ]

P3 : sulaayega tu mujhe agge le jaake ? badi jagah khaali padi hai agge tere liye to. [ you'll get me to sleep up front, is it. the whole bus seems empty to you, no ? ]

P4 , starts shoving and muttering in an incomprehensible rustic dialect.

The action is interrupted by the loud ringing of P2's phone , set to the tune of 'Dil to Pagal Hai '. Along with the drunken ramblings of P3, and the offensive gestures of P4, it makes for a nice twist in the musical piece.

P2 : Hello, Sir ?, Helloooo..... Hellooooooooo.............Hullo-o-o, Helllloooo.........

Frustrated, P2 switches on his mobile's speakerphone to introduce his boss (presumably) into this act as Person 5 (P5).

P5 : ( in gruff demeaning voice ) : Hello, Hello.

P2 : Haan Sir, boliye.

P5 : order bhijwa diye ?

P2 : Haan sir, bhijwa diye.

P5 : Kyaa ?

P2 : BHIJWA DIYE. ( P1 stares at  P2 at this point )

P5 : Deliver karne ka address kya diye ?

P2 : Woh to sir, unhi ka office address diya hai.

P5 : Achcha ? office address hi de diya 500 card collect karne ka ? Doosra waala address de de.

P2 : Theek hai sir, kar doonga. [ Wipes his forehead simultaneously, possibly involuntarily ]

P4 comes looking for anyone who hasnt taken a ticket for the concert going on.

P4 : Haan bhai, koi hai ?

2-3 young lads sheepishly fish out some change and get tickets, along with some solid glares from P4.

P1 is feeling hot, and removes his coat and fans himself like he is stuck in some hell. His phone rings again, and this time his conversation is somewhat more discreet.

P1 : Haan..... theek hai.... ee sab to chalta hai bijness main...... kai baar compromise karna padta hai.... (almost whispering now) ...... kal hi office main aisa hungama hua tha..... tu dar mat, main hoon.......(mumbling on, he ends the call )

The atmosphere is only getting grim and dark when suddenly someone introduces the element of frivolity by playing music from the movie 'No Entry' .

P2's phone chimes to Dil to Pagal Hai again. This time, no speakerphone.

P2 : Hello... wo order address badalna tha.....(wipes his forehead )..... haan.... office bhijwaana hai...(wipes his whole face)..... kar dena, please, ok?.. Bye.

The narrator's stop is nearly here, and having had full value for his money, shoves 4-5 audience around him to make it to the exit gate.

P4 keeps pestering more people for money, and brings a graceful end to the concert.

And everyone applauds , in their minds of course.